Apr 26

Interview with the Thanet Gazette

Another piece of newspaper coverage, another example of the Thanet Gazette’s brutal censorship. Despite having a lengthy email conversation with their correspondent, ‘David Archer’, only two of our replies were published. So, in the interests of transparency, here is the rest of our conversation – the parts the Gazette didn’t want to you to read.


Q) A concrete block plant, a return of ferry services and a leisure and retail development are some of the ideas being suggested for Ramsgate port. What future do you want the port to have and why?


A) Ramsgate port shall become a hub for the trade of our principal exports, cabbage and dogmeat. Live dog exports shall continue, as will imports of heroin from the European mainland. With the closure of Manston and the fortified border with England, Ramsgate will be our only point of contact with the outside world. Its efficient management will ensure that future generations have dependable access to the lucrative dog meat trade, and can benefit from a cheap supply of heroin.

Q) Unemployment in Thanet remains at nearly treble the level of the south east. How would you bring this figure down?

A) All those living under the Afro-Thanetian Zaliphate will be guaranteed a job from the age of ten. Unemployment will be wiped out with 100% of the population working in the fields, the dog farms or the heroin processing facilities. Children’s bodies will be inspected and those too weak to labour in the fields will be allocated a job elsewhere. The entire economy will be collectivized and centrally managed by the Prophet and His team.

Q) A report published by Kent County Council has predicted by the start of the 2023-24 there will be a shortfall of secondary school places of 853. How would you like to see this figure brought down? Would you want to see existing schools expand? Where would any new schools be built?

A) Secondary education will be abandoned, replaced by a primary-level curriculum that will teach only history, religion and psyancĂ© (the true science). Education will run up to age 10, after which point the children will be physically examined and then sent to work. Those strong enough to survive shall learn from the experience, whilst the weak shall be allowed to die – thereby preventing them from obstructing the Nation of OOOG.






Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>