So today, in your England, it is ‘National Dog Day’. Well, in the Zaliphate it is dog day everyday, dog for breakfast, dog for lunch and dog for dinner. The difference between our dog days and your ‘Dog Day’ is that we have the emotional stability not to seek friendship in an animal that loves you regardless of how much of horrible person you are.
And it is precisely that reassurance that the English need – reassurance from a creature that still loves them through all the violence they inflict on the world. But not for much longer. We have outlawed dog breeding and upped the use of dog meat in every local cuisine. Let’s put their “best friend” in the extinct category, like they have tried to do to us throughout history.